At the last residents meeting it was decided that the legal speed limit is far too high for Ardilaun square. “This business of speeding in and out of here is total madness” said a local. “Here, what’s the speed limit on this road anyway” asked some randomer there? It was talked about that something has to be done about anyone who thinks they can come in and out of here at anything over 5 miles an hour. It was decided that someone should really have a speed gun. A speed gun was deemed unnecessary because as someone said, “It might be a kip but it’s our kip and we have to be able to do what we want”.
It was suggested that projectiles could be fired at any vehicle deemed to be going too fast by the locals. This idea was quickly shot down because it would be illegal and irresponsible. Calling the police was also suggested but it was then pointed out that the legal speed limit is 30k and that it was a stupid idea. The local ‘know it all’ informed everyone that the speed limit is the same for residential areas and this square is no different to any other. One local asked “shouldn’t it not be lower than a road because we’re all used to sitting out and enjoying the cul-de-sac”? Someone else chimed in with “that’s all because it’s Ardilaun Square and not Ardilaun Road or Ardilaun Avenue”.
The local ‘know it all’ took this opportunity to remind everybody of the Councils plan to “change the way the area works” by rendering Ardilaun Square, a thoroughfare. No name was officially put forward but references were made to Ardilaun Road and Ardilaun Avenue. One local commented: “I don’t know how we’re going to be able to sit out all day, with some sort of road at the other end”. Another commented: “I don’t know where all them cars are meant to be going”. The locals face a number of challenges to overcome ranging from parking, sunbathing, all the way to babysitting and piss ups. The locals failed to reach a unanimous verdict on the matter, so it all fell by the way side.
The Ardilaun Times 
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